All Souls' Night

"It wer a col nite but we wer warm in that doss bag.
Lissening to the dogs howling afterwds and the wind
wuthering and wearying and nattering in the oak leaves.
Looking at the moon all col and wite and oansome.
Lorna said to me, 'You know Riddley theres some thing
in us it dont have no name.'
I said, 'What thing is that?'
She said, 'Its some kynd of thing it aint us but yet its in us. Its
looking out thru our eye hoals. May be you dont take no noatis
of it only some times. Say you get woak up suddn in the middl
of the nite. 1 minim youre a sleap and the nex your on your feet
with a spear in your han. Wel it wernt you put that spear in your
han it were that other thing whats looking out thru your eye hoals.
It aint you nor it dont even know your name. Its in us lorn and loan
and sheltering ow it can.'
I said, 'If its in every 1 of us theres moren 1 of it theres got
to be a manying theres got to be a millying and mor.'
Lorna said, 'Wel there is a millying and mor.'
I said, 'Wel if theres such a manying of it whys it lorn then whys
it loan?'
She said, 'Becaws the manying and the millying its all 1 thing it
dont have nothing to gether with. You look at lykens on a stoan
its all them tiny manyings of it and may be each part of it myt
think its sepert only we can see its all 1 thing. Thats how it is with
what we are its all 1 girt big thing and divvyt up amongst the many.
Its all 1 girt thing bigger nor the worl and lorn and loan and
oansome. Tremmering it is and feart. It puts us like we put on
our cloes. Some times we dont fit. Some times it cant fynd the
arm hoals and it tears us a part. I dont think I took all that
much noatis of it when I ben yung. Now Im old I noatis it mor.
It dont realy like to put me on no mor. Every morning I can feal
how its tiret of me and readying to throw me a way. Iwl tel you
some thing Riddley and keap this in memberment. What ever it
is we dont come naturel to it.'
I said, 'Lorna I dont know what you mean.'
She said, 'We aint a naturel part of it. We dint begin when it begun
we dint begin where it begun. It ben here befor us nor I don't know
what we are to it. May be weare jus only sickness and a feaver to
it or boils on the arse of it I dont know. Now lissen what Im
goin to tel you Riddley. It thinks us but it dont think like us.
It dont think the way we think. Plus like I said befor its afeart.'
I said, 'Whats it afeart of?'
She said, 'Its afeart of being bearth.'
I said, 'How can that be? You said its ben here befor us. If it
ben here all this time it musve been bearth some time.'
She said, 'No it aint been bearth it never does get beartht it
all ways in the woom of things its all ways on the road.'
I said, 'All this what you jus ben tellin be that a tell for me?'
She larft then she said, 'Riddley there aint nothing what aint
a tel for you. The wind in the nite the dus on the road even the
leases stoan you kick a long in front of you. Even the shadder
of that leases stoan roaling or stanning stil its all telling.'
Wel I cant say for cern no mor if I had any of them things
in my mynd befor she tol me but ever since it seams like
they all ways ben there. Seams like I ben all ways
thinking on that thing in us what thinks us but it dont think
like us. Our woal life is a idear we dint think of nor we dont
know what it is. What a way to live. "



from Riddley Walker, by Russell Hoban , p. 5-7